Wednesday, January 18, 2006

I Got Jumped By Two Dudes While I Was Wearing A Fucking Rubber


I don’t know what the fucking story is but things got all fucked up last night over at Kellie’s place. We had just got down fucking all slow, you know, the kind of sex where you can feel the whole fucking rubber, and there comes this fucking knock at the door. I turn down the Nelly and someone keeps fucking banging on the door like a bastard. The whole fucking trailer was rattling and we had stopped fucking, if you know what I mean. I’m like ‘fuck this’ you know? And I pull out. The rubber’s going to be no good if I take it off so I just tug up my fucking shorts over it. I only had the one rubber, you know? I get up to go get the fucking door and Kellie’s tugging at my dick through my shorts but I got the dick tucked into the waistband so it’s not lancing out through the front so she can’t grip it. She’s still naked, all slicked up and sweaty but I can tell she’s horny so I’m like ‘hey motherfucker, I’ll be back in a fucking second.’ I get the fucking door and there’s these two fucking dudes like ‘who the fuck are you?’ One of the dudes hits my in the fucking neck before I can say fuck and I go down. The dick pops out of the waistband and the rubber is all gleaming and slicked up and this dude is like ‘oh no motherfucker’ and kicks me while I’m down like a bitch. I’m like, fuck this shit and try to hit this fucker with a lamp and his bro hits my fucking ass with a right cross in my motherfucking head. I woke up today with my neck all swole up and the fucking rubber still on. Kellie wasn’t fucking anywhere and the fucking bitch won't answer her fucking cell.

2 comments:

Maximillion said...

ahhhh shit dog!!! if only the rubber could tell its side of the story.

Black Sharpie said...

Uhhhh-mazing.