Friday, April 27, 2007

Is Your Shirt Tucked In? Mine is.

My shirt is tucked crisply into my waistband, accentuating my shoulder/waist ratio to attract females. I will mate with them when they draw close because I am a masculine man. I am all male, wholly sexual. With hands on hips I will insemiate women across this great nation. I am a specimen of masculine perfection. Tuck those shirts in boys, and lets just see how you measure up. Come on... I waiting, with my hands on my hips. Waiting.

Monday, April 23, 2007

The Nicest El Camino In Existence

Yes, that is an El Camino sporting Louis Vuitton flash. Yes, that is a proud black man standing tall. Yes, that is a trailer park in the background. The question that remains in my mind is, who the fuck is supposed to be impressed by this photo? Anyone posing like this guy is obviously thinking he's pretty fucking awesome. The way the car is parked with a nice watery backdrop leads me to believe he was trying to set this shot up for a while, and he may have even driven to this location with the sole purpose of taking this picture. How long has it been since El Camino's made the list of vehicles never to be driven by non-mexicans? Was it ever not on that list? Fuck that stupid car. This guy is going to be pissed when he gets out of jail and finds out his El got repo'd and some lawn care specialist has put glitter paint over the Vuitton. No big loss though, with his recording contract he can buy a fleet of 1984 El Camino's to replace it. Fuck Death Row, fuck Dre... etc. etc.

America's Top Model

Some kids have negative body issues. Some kids should.