Friday, August 31, 2007

The Greatest Band Alive



I am absolutely obsessed with this band. If anything cooler than this exists right now, I'd love to see it. Well, Mastodon is right up there, but the truly amazing beard and vocals appearing on 3 Inches of Blood cannot be ignored. Be sure to watch the last 30 seconds of the video too, that's when the battle axe makes its appearance.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Hey Let's Have Six Fucking Kids!

It's amazing how much hatred I hold for people who still think it's a great idea to have more than one or two kids. 'Hey lets have FIVE!' The fat fuck with the weak chin cries, eager to pass on his useless genes. How is it that anyone can still look around this world and not see that virtually every problem the Earth faces right now, both environmentally and politically, is based on the fact that there are already too many people? Check out that relaxing beach in Korea. Looks so nice! How about the trains in India shown in the video below, overloaded to the point that people are literally spilling out the doors? So all the people in these shitty countries around the world come to the US because there's no room back home but what happens when this country gets the same way? Are we going to overload Greenland? I think a solution to the problem is sterilizing everyone who shops at Wal-Mart. I sometimes go there just to people watch and it's amazing that the people who are so poor they actually rely on that place still think it's a great plan to have nine piece of shit kids. Based on the reverse Darwin effect that's going on, the human race will have an average IQ of 10 by the end of the next century.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Nice To Mole You!

This beauty was spotted from about two hundred yards away outside the Tower of London. I asked this woman her name and she said she was Moley Russel's wart. I agree. I gave her a can of Barbasol and three razors from my bag to take the goatee off of it. Needless to say, she was grateful.

Someone Lose A Bet?


How in the hell does something like this happen? It can't be only the tattoo artists fault because they always stencil tattoos on and show you before they do it. So that means two of the stupidest people on Earth came into contact for one amazing moment in time and the results of this meeting can be enjoyed forever! This is the type of tattoo that should have been carved through the flesh and onto his bones, so archaeologists in the future can ponder its meaning. They might have a little trouble with the 'w' because it looks like an 'm.' They will wonder why someone would be so proud of being amsome that they would tattoo it right on their back. Amsome... hmmmm... what could that mean? As a side note, they didn't even make it level and what's with the huge space between the words. I think I could fix this tattoo though. I'd throw an 'r' into that big space making it Ramsome. Then change my last name to Ramsome so everyone is like 'whoa man! You love your name!' Or if you don't like that, you could also throw a 'j' in front of the 'I'm' and blend in the apostrophe so it says Jim Ramsome. You could then tell people he was a dude you were friends with in 8th grade who was really fucking rad so you wanted everyone to know you used to be friends.