Hello, my name is Hoggle. I led Sarah around the tricky labrynth to save that bratty kid Toby from the Goblin King. Yeah OK, I might have been a bit of a pussy but all's well that ends well, right? There is one item I never did accomplish though...I was really hoping to 'hook up' with Sarah during the journey. Reflecting back on it, there's 5 reasons I didn't get the job done:
1. Chicks dig men in beige tights with their package bulging out uncontrollably.
2. I look more like Billy Crystal in about 80 years.
3. Jareth also had teased bangs and a bigger house.