Thursday, June 30, 2005

Full Beards Usually Earn Sex

tiny thong
Originally uploaded by drippingmullet.
I grew this beard knowing full well that I would probably be hounded for sex from numerous young women. There didn't seem to be a down side to this situation so I began to cultivate a long Merlinesque beard. More work is required than one would think when growing a beard, it's not just sitting around letting things progress naturally. I found that rubbing the liquefied placenta of a horse into the thick strands of growth helped keep the beard glossy and full. The smell was not altogether unpleasant either. I have yet to find myself bombarded by offers of sex but I feel this is due to the fact that some women are nervous that only four square inches of my face is visible. My piercing, hawk-like eyes show them that there is much more beneath the beard. My beard continues to grow and so does my desire for the gentle sex.

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