I think I caught you looking at my Lance Armstrong bracelet. Yeah they come in green now, but no I won’t tell you where I got it. I had sex with your girlfriend when she was a freshman in college. Man that girl was so thin back then! Sorry she’s all thick now, but I don’t really think that was my fault. I learned to dance watching all those great R&B songs on MTV. I call in all the time so they’ll play my favorite R&B videos instead of some stupid rock song with instruments. I slept with your girlfriend in my Eclipse last summer. My dad bought the car, my stepdad bought the stereo, my job at Abercrombie bought me the Nelly CD we were listening to. I’m going to community college next year, maybe. I think I’m going to be a lawyer or a stock broker. I haven’t shaved yet and I’m twenty four.