Friday, June 10, 2005

Local Man Struggling With Sexuality Finds Solace In Mountains

Originally uploaded by drippingmullet.
The man who would only provide his name as 'Jemimah' was first noticed wandering the footpaths of Mt. Rainier National Park in early Spring. Since then sightings of the sexually frustrated out-of-work coal miner have become commonplace amongst the close-knit family of trail hikers. "The boy is just mixed up is all," puffed Joey Kendall, a local masseuse, as he made his way around the 9.2 mile Cresent Trail. Kendall, a longtime visitor of the park first noticed 'Jemimah' on an outing with friends in late April. "What I noticed first was the shorts he was wearing. I can only describe them as being hideously small." Kendall's friend and hiking partner Michael Perrine declined to comment. With good weather fronts moving in and the promise of long weeks of sunshine, this young man may have to find a new place to work out his sexual dilemmas as visitors to the park are expected to increase as much as 300% in the next month.

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