Friday, November 04, 2005

Study Exposes Benefits of Couples Emptying Bowels Together

bathroom fun
Originally uploaded by drippingmullet.
Yes, thats BOWELS and not BOWLS. According to groundbreaking reasearch conducted at the University of Washington, healthful side-effects of eliminating in the presence of a loved one have been conclusively proven. Lower blood pressure, elevated mood and well maintained digestive tracts are just some of the many benefits of 'taking the plunge' as research analysts often refer to the novel arrangement. Having the love of your life enjoy the sights, sounds and smells of a bodily function normally deemed 'alone time' is meeting stiff resistance in some circles. Further studies show that couples most resistant to this change also have sex with the lights off and are generally unappealing to begin with. Dr. Ronthonaldo Peritonitis, a rising star in the field of gastroenterology and occasional professor, designed and ran the entire study from his home office on Mercer Island. Peritonitis strongly supports the introduction of co-mingling restroom activities with other household chores to slowly introduce a more open and interactive approach to bowel movements. "Make it a fun game!" Peritonitis suggested cheerily from his seat on a custom-made toilet in his campus office. The good doctor insisted upon being reclined on the toilet while being interviewed and did not so much as blush as camera's whirred and staff photographers snapped away. "This thing is really catching on," Peritonitis grunted and gestured at a wall festooned with framed photographs. Brief examination showed the photographs to share a common theme; twenty-somethings (undoubtedly students) enjoying a bathroom break in the company of a peer. Whether or not the group approach to going 'number 2' will ever catch on in a significant way can only be proven with time, but a surplus of used bathroom doors has yet to flood the market.


Buff Tan Honky said...

Go ahead and put up a fucking ad you fucking bastards!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Die you fucking fucks!

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