Having purchased a case of Golden Girl Anal Jelly last summer I was fairly confident that the amount of anal sex I was having would increase. How could I have been so wrong? As it turns out the Anal Jelly is actually that, a gooey sludge made from the liquefied anus and nasal cartilage of equatorial African children. If this factoid is not disturbing enough, the smell makes anything found in a living persons rectum a wonderfully perfumed material in comparison. Perhaps that is on purpose, you know, to mask odors from the rear entry intercourse. I still have twelve of these jars lying around my place because the few occasions I actually talked someone into anal, one whiff of this shit ended everything. I think I'm just going to spit on it from now on.