They call me the Stare Hard Retard. You have no idea how long I can stare without blinking at all. Hours. Literally hours. No one can beat me at this because I am a competitor at heart and have found my niche. I will defend this title at all costs and have no qualms about gouging your eyes with my long black fingernails if things start to get close. I practice by staring at photos of people in magazines, challenging them to blink first. My eyes bleed sometimes. The doctors have told me I am causing irreparable damage and I stared at those bastards until they got all creeped out and left. Girls find sex with me a little weird the way I stare at them all bugeyed when I'm on them. The fact that I say 'hump' each and every stroke probably doesn't improve things. Oh well, I always find new girls. I'm the guy that can hold a gaze across a crowded dance floor like you wouldn't believe. Fucking lazer beam eyes on those girls and they fold under the intensity every time. Tonight I'm going to go practice with my neighbor, he's blind.