Thursday, August 18, 2005

This Is Probably The Coolest Man Alive

pre school teacher
Originally uploaded by drippingmullet.
Anyone who actually owns a helmet like this has got to run for president. The boots alone are worth a Senate position at the very least. Imagine having a guy like this show up to argue politics and has a squire polishing his huge, thigh high boots while sharpening his broadsword. Just picture it if this style caught on and people started wearing this shit while jogging, fishing, maybe even when buying stamps. Picture the guy laying out on a beach towel and reapplying the corpse paint before playing a game of volleyball. Swinging his sword he could scream to the heavens 'fucking sideout bitch!' then slash the net into pieces. A man like this has freshly dug graves waiting to be filled in his basement. These graves are dug deep and with much patience. What I'd like to know is what events lead up to this photo shoot. Did this guy leave his house, drop of his videos at Hollywood, grab some teriyaki then drive way out into the woods to pose with a sword? Also, what kind of situation would require the use of chain mail and a big fucking helmet? The biggest problem a death metal viking warrior faces is the lack of good opponents to do battle with. The chances of running into anyone who also happens to be carrying a sword and interested in fighting must be pretty slim.

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