The world reels with the news of Satan's Spawn at long last being discovered in the flesh. Countless children have been killed by schizophrenic, crack-addled parents who have believed their own child to be the offspring of the devil but no longer will this be a legitimate excuse for infanticide. A young boy, whose name is temporarily being withheld until proper instruction from the Vatican can be obtained, is being held in a salt encrusted sea trunk at Boeing Airfield in south Seattle. The trunk is resting firmly in an inch deep puddle of holy water which is festooned with tiny, floating bibles. All are precautions against the escape of the monster. Details are sketchy as to how positive identification was reached but it is safe to guess that the child's creepy appearance and bizarre, disjointed behavior had something to do with it. You'll know more when we do.