Big Low-hanging Balls Earn Extra $$$$$

heaven on earth
Originally uploaded by drippingmullet.

Long overlooked as items lacking in sexual want and desire, the testicles have been overshadowed (no pun intended) by the veiny meat trumpet since time out of mind. So much time has been dedicated to the shaft of the penis that little thought was spared to the sweet tenderness of massive, low hanging testicles. Lately, however, some long needed attention has been doled out to these delicate egg-like globes from an unusual source. Old women, some even into their late 80’s, have taken it upon themselves to utilize a long forgotten cure for glaucoma called the Arabian Goggles. This unusual practice requires the nude, oiled and shaved body of a young male to ‘hunker’ over the reclined elderly woman and gently drape the smooth testicles over the eye sockets. Gently dragging the testicles over the eyes creates a soothing effect to both parties. “The balls have to be real warm,” Blanche (last name withheld by request) of Middlesex, Connecticut stated at a recent session in a suite at the downtown Ritz-Carlton Hotel. “That way they hang down really far and really work their way into the sockets.” Each young man seems to have their own special way to prepare for the fifteen-minute sessions, for which they are paid the princely sum of $300. Some choose to sit on heating pads, others run a heavy stream of warm water over their lap region to soften the flesh and allow the testicles to descend as far as possible. It is not proven if these sessions have any real medical value as no real reduction in glaucoma has been shown in any patients. “Feels pretty good on my balls,” one young man offered as he counted out his cash.