Friday, December 02, 2005

I'm A Fucking Hipster

Okay, so I've had a few drinks...big fucking deal. I'm a goddamn hipster. See this trucker hat? Got it at PacSun, your local hipster headquarters. I'm 33 but I'm holding it down. Can't quite drink like I did, maybe it was the fucking MGD's I was drinking. Dunno. Feel real shitty and my mouth is watering real bad. You may not be able to tell from the picture, but that IS a bottle of Hennessy sitting right up there in front. I had some. Tasted like shit too but black people drink it and that means it's cool right now. Kinda wish it wasn't because the taste it left in my mouth is like I already threw up a little. You know...like how you throw up into your mouth a little when you lean down too quick and burp at the same time. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get laid tonight by this cute new guy at work. He's in the garage right now smoking weed. Chances are good he'll notice me because my tits look real big and slack in this tank top. Like two big tubes of meat. Guys like that shit. If he's being a prude I might just blow someone. If that's what ends up happening I'll have to go make myself puke first so I don't gag like last weekend. EMBARRASSING! I kinda need to shit too. I think that's why my stomach looks kinda big right now. I keep leaned over like this so no one notices. I think I've got them fooled, plus my boobs look real nice this way. Anyway, turn on some rap or maybe the new Green Day cd. It's really popular right now too.

4 comments:

housebill said...

yo, i wouldn't even beat it on that chicks face yo.

Anonymous said...

Hey can I get her number. I want to get drunk and fall in.

Anonymous said...

i bet she could suck start my yugo.
please post her number

Anonymous said...

projectile diarrhea