Ever Heard Of Retard Strength? - 31
I don’t really know what that means, but if it has to do with strength, I’ve got it. I’m strong. I love pushups. I love bench press. I can curl you by your head. Think about that for a minute. That’s biceps strength coupled with amazing grip power and impossibly powerful spinal erectors. Like Christmas? The defininition in my lower back looks like a Christmas tree. BOOM! Lats all over the place. I’ll do pushups right on your face. We could go out sometime and you could just stare at my body while I watch a movie. I don’t really care. I’m 6’3 and 280lbs of pure male. Fully buffed out. POW. Some women like guys who are confident. I’m confident that you won’t find someone that can do as many pushups as I can. Go ahead and try.
So I got a number of interesting responses. Quite a few were simply angry insults, which is to be expected when you've got a body like I have, but I decided to post the email conversation I had with Erica. Erica strikes me as a girl with low self esteem and possibly multiple personalities.
ERICA:
I do not normally answer these kind of things, but something about your ad made me want to. I've got brunette curls and blue eyes. My hair is really short, but I still look like a lady. If you have ever played WoW, my build is female draenei. Except for the horns. .... most of the time. ;) The thing I've missed about being in any kind of a relationship is cuddling. GOOD LORD, I miss that. :( Most any night after 7:00 works for me. Jsut let me know what works for you. Cya!
ME:
Sorry to take so long to get back to you. I was working out. I work out a lot. I've never played WoW. I'm curious how you can have curls if your hair is really short. That seems to be a contradiction. I like to work out muscle groups that contradict, like back and chest, to get a great push-pull pump workout. Awesome. Anyway, I think cuddling if fucking gay. I'd rather talk for a while, maybe about my workouts or something. What's your input?
ERICA:
LOL! I'm trembling, I'm so set to get together. Nothing can beat a couple of months of erotic repression in order to kick me in to overdrive. If you think you need to gawk at some pix first, I have some on the web but shit; really? Does anybody even look like themselves when they are in the middle of a really good screw? Have you ever gotten into tantric sex? It can be pretty ... I don't have words for what it can be. Later days, babe!
ME:
You sound like a fucking idiot.
ERICA:
Wut up, home slice? Thank you for hitting me up. Now I have a big case of the warm fuzzies. *grin* I want you to see me in the nude, and know you can have me. I want to put on some soft music, pour us some drinks, and see where the evening takes us. Later, tater.
ME:
How about I take a fucking shit on your chest instead?
ERICA:
Heya, baby! God, heck of a day. I am in desperate need of a massage. Why aren't you here?? Take care, Sug.
5 comments:
That sounds really cool. I'm glad you're eating the way you should be. The muscles are big and the car is a different color than I thought it would be. I wonder what kind of toothpaste Judge Judy uses. I tried spending an entire day under my car the other day, but I realized I hadn't paid my car insurance, so I decided to take a dump in my neighbor's backyard instead. I wonder if Judge Judy would be cool with that. Sometimes I wonder what she thinks about late at night, after she's shaved her sexy back and tucked her petite, lil' hot body into bed. Do you think she wonders how the war in Iraq could have been different? I don't know either. I should try getting a colonic. I heard it feels like having a long shitty snake yanked out of your rectum. Anyway, weird how we have so much to talk about.
Hey you! I recognize you from the picture, it's me Emily!! I was the girl that went to the ice skating rink with your friend Ricky last April, and we had that discussion about Coldplay. Who knew by looking at you that you liked them!! Anyhow, I looked at your blog and you are SOOOO funny. I never thought you were like that. Could you write about dumb sluts in your blog? 'cause there's this girl annie at work that is so annoying.
PS, what's ur name again?
Dear Ancient Axe,
I think you're a total tool bag for being so mean to the girl with short curls!
How dare you be critical of a woman that is obviously mentally ill! I've contacted the proper authorities in this matter, and I hope they bust your stupid, ancient, old old man ass.
Sincerly,
Martha Jackalone
By the way- this is why people are against freedom of speech---I was of the opposite opinion until I read your post----now I'm in support of the death penalty cock
Der aniet axe,
Twinty day I chuse beyond gougin something brownbut I love chsosing to love anyways. Your craiglist post make me good boygriend think in my life but i knowlife is difrent for wite peple and osama bin obama so i tri to think about my family inthe life pictre. your a coog men I think. Have a good life anient ask.
uyr a good guy
At Least you didn't insult "The Floor Scrubb'n Old Hag"!
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