Monday, April 21, 2008

Please Call After 11000

A new craigslist ad from our old friend TIM CONE! Check this one out, this guy is on crack I swear:

hello i have 4 P235/75R15 Kelly Safari Trex Tires on Jeep rims - $275
Hi have 4 Kelly Safari Trex Tires Agressive treadtoo mint shape its a Geep Cherrkie so you get tires and rims and lug bolts 800 miles on tires 275.00 opffer 360 858 xxxx home cell 360 464 xxxx call after 1100o clock in the morning you will but them


Okay so that's good, but what about this one. The features of his vehicle boggle the mind. I love how he bothers to point out that the 'pinstripping' on a 95 Ford Windstar van 'looks cool.' Fucking retard. Also appears that he discovered the semi-colon button and decided to put some brackets in for good measure:

Hello i have a red 95 Ford Windstar; 90000 miles on new engine] garaged all its life ;;; mint shape ;oil changed every 3000 miles new tires 350.00.2 weeks ago // new idler arm too 150.00 .. crack in wind shild rock chip fixed too .shines as it was brand new ..interior like new .console i center of seats too for your drinks and more ..have all receips dode to it ..1200.00 done to it too new sensors brakes fuel filter air cleaner too lots more you will see it and buy it too many cars 3700.00 offer it will last you for ever cruise ]air.. over drive auto,,new wiper blades rad done too tranmission too done fuel filter come see it 360 858 xxxx home cell 360 464 xxxx .tim pinstripping on it too looks cool

8 comments:

Maximillion said...

He probably dictates CL postings to his pet monkey. I'm disappointed he didn't add in anything about threesomes or dating asia ladies. Maybe in his next post he'll toss in some ** or ^^ punctuation for good measure.

Buff Tan Honky said...

I'm thinking about starting to post my own ads for him... lets see where that goes.

caitlin said...

That reminded me of some sort of Ken Kesey Jack Kerouac "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" stream of consciousness writing. It like his urgency to convey the coolness of the Windstar just outweighed any kind of need to spellcheck. When he said "new wiper blades rad done too" at first I thought he meant the wiper blades were rad. I was like, really? Then I figured out he meant radiator.

caitlin said...

I meant "it's." I know, the irony is clear.

Maximillion said...

Sometimes I dream that Tim Cone will fly in through my bedroom window and take me away from this place.

caitlin said...

Tim Cone DID fly in through my bedroom window - in the sweetest effing Windstar you've ever seen.

tv hanging brackets said...

at least he can spell. wait, he cant do that either! "its a Geep Cherrkie" hahaha. There should be a blog dedicated to his posts. Or better, to him.

People like him make me laugh.

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