Please Call After 11000

A new craigslist ad from our old friend TIM CONE! Check this one out, this guy is on crack I swear:

hello i have 4 P235/75R15 Kelly Safari Trex Tires on Jeep rims - $275
Hi have 4 Kelly Safari Trex Tires Agressive treadtoo mint shape its a Geep Cherrkie so you get tires and rims and lug bolts 800 miles on tires 275.00 opffer 360 858 xxxx home cell 360 464 xxxx call after 1100o clock in the morning you will but them


Okay so that's good, but what about this one. The features of his vehicle boggle the mind. I love how he bothers to point out that the 'pinstripping' on a 95 Ford Windstar van 'looks cool.' Fucking retard. Also appears that he discovered the semi-colon button and decided to put some brackets in for good measure:

Hello i have a red 95 Ford Windstar; 90000 miles on new engine] garaged all its life ;;; mint shape ;oil changed every 3000 miles new tires 350.00.2 weeks ago // new idler arm too 150.00 .. crack in wind shild rock chip fixed too .shines as it was brand new ..interior like new .console i center of seats too for your drinks and more ..have all receips dode to it ..1200.00 done to it too new sensors brakes fuel filter air cleaner too lots more you will see it and buy it too many cars 3700.00 offer it will last you for ever cruise ]air.. over drive auto,,new wiper blades rad done too tranmission too done fuel filter come see it 360 858 xxxx home cell 360 464 xxxx .tim pinstripping on it too looks cool

Don't Judge a Man by his Hilarious T-Shirt

This is an actual mug shot from our good friends at The Smoking Gun, and I felt it was my duty to share it with the world. Who the fuck looks at a T-shirt like that and thinks "Oooh! All my friends are going to be doubled over with laughter when they see this, especially when I wear it on the day we're going to rob that liquor store!" I'm sure the carefully manicured lip hair really intimidated his fellow inmates too.