Monday, July 17, 2006

What The Fuck Am I?

Maybe you can help me because I am at a total loss as to my sexual identity. I have the soft, rosy lips of a German maiden, but the closely cropped hair of a strapping young man. My plain white t-shirt suggests I am a black man but the baby soft skin of my face seems to be that of an eighteen year old Swedish bar maid. I keep trying to look between my legs to find out for sure but of course I can't because I am just a stupid photograph. I have no sexual identity it seems, but that might not be so bad. I can move between both hemispheres of gender with ease, using any and all restrooms I want. I can freely enter the changing rooms of any public swimming pool and enjoy the view while going unnoticed and unchallenged. Just think for a moment how good of a bank robber I could be. Without so much as a mask I could so befuddle those I am robbing that any positive identification would be impossible. How can the police hunt for a suspect when they are not even positive of the gender? I am really starting to enjoy the idea of being a complete sexual non-entity. Of course, dating is going to be something of a trick, but seeing as how even I don't know what I am it is going to be quite the exciting evening for some lucky bisexual. I wouldn't even be able to give a hint as to what I am until my jeans are torn from my shapeless body.

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