Friday, March 10, 2006
Meet My Friend Ralph
Ralph is awesome. Ralph can drink. Ralph ralphs too, usually on the bar, but not always. There was this one time he ralphed all over a display of organic coffee at Starbucks. We did a few shots at Applebees and went over there to get an ice green tea frappe and the guy just lost it on a cardboard cutout of a Guatemalan coffee grower who was smiling and trying to look like he wasn't being exploited. The puke hit that farmers face like a bowl of clam chowder that was sitting in the sun all afternoon. It wasn't cold in that Starbucks but I swear to you that STEAM was wafting off that spray of potato skins and Makers Mark. One of the girls behind the counter dumped a big foamy mug of hot milk all over her chest and this guy in a Bass Hunter hat said he was going to jack off to that in his truck on the way home. It was pretty sweet even though I never got that frappe.