Monday, January 14, 2008

1962 Fallout Book From Goverment With Letter

This ad was posted on craigslist a few weeks back:

1962 fallout book from goverment with letter
hello i have a i have a letter about western electric about fallout protection and a departmentof defense book on building your shelter dated jan 1962 i know its old and mint shape found it in a tralier i bought make offer 360 858 xxxx home cel 360 464 xxxx ill show it on my web cam to you thanks tim

So I wrote him from an alternate email posing a girl (pictured below) who I named Kimmy Lee. What follows is what I feel to be one of the more interesting email exchanges in history. Keep in mind that I was also emailing him from several other accounts, as was my cousin, to create the illusion of a bidding war on the pamphlet. We ran the bidding up to around $18,000 between multiple invented personalities who failed again and again to cough up the money. One of my bidders claimed he was unable to meet to buy the book on the agreed upon date due to injuries suffered in a massive dogsledding accident. It was during this ordeal that he had been forced to eat his favorite dog in order to survive the three days stuck in a snowbank. That same bidder also could not use the telephone to work out the details of the purchase because the telephone was 'simply too large.' Whatever that means, it was accepted without comment...

Kimmy Lee wrote:
Can you send me some pics? I can't believe you have this for sale. I know it's not a great way for me to enter a bid but I really want this for my boyfriend. I can probably scrounge up like a grand if you can wait a couple days. I have to sell this stuff I have but will have cash maybe sunday or monday. I also my boyfriend has an old classic charger that has been about 95% restored that I think he would be willing to swap if the book is in good condition. Also, what does the letter say? Can you send pics? Please respond ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks- kimmy

Tim wrote back: this is karen do not scam us we are not dumdyou meet and look and buy bnot play games 4 scammers your the 5th iam sorry we have it all

Kimmy Lee wrote:
I don't understand what you're talking about. I'm not sure what you mean by a scam. How am I scamming you by being interested in what you're selling? I think you're probably fakes then. I've been busy at work and this is the first chance I get to check my email and I get three from you all angry. I never said you were dumd. If you still want to sell the book let me know. Otherwise forget it. I could go up to maybe 2000 cash if I get some time to sell the charger. If you're too impatient go ahead and sell it to someone else. Kimmy

Tim: hi0iam sorry but i was offered 16000.00 dollars from a gut if you want it offer me your price now

Kimmy Lee wrote:
My boyfriend just found this through a book dealer in vegas and said he's going to go ahead and buy it there. I'd still like to get it for him but he said the vegas dealer has it for pretty cheap. I might try to buy it as a surprise for his birthday then. What is the absolute lowest price you will accept for it? He's leaving tomorrow so please be honest because I don't have time to negotiate. Kimmy

Tim: now much money do you have

Kimmy Lee wrote:
How much money do I have? Are you on drugs or what? I simply asked how much you want for it. You said you were offered 16000 but it sounds like that didn't happen. Give me a number to work with or forget it!

Tim: hi this is karen tims fiase hes been thru hell every one wants the books or book but never has the money hes seen 2 people and they lied to us dsorry hes in a mad point now not trusting no 1 your ok

Kimmy Lee wrote:
What happened when he saw those two people?

Tim: this is karen they lied and said they only had 2000.00 dollars when they said 6000.00 so it up to him now he wants 8000.00 and got offered 18000.00 from a guy from canada but they have it and he said do not sell it cheap its worth ehe price now its up to you

Kimmy Lee wrote:
I put the charger up for sale but I doubt I'm going to get as much as you want. My boyfriend wont say how much the guy in vegas is asking so I don;t know if 18000 is too high. Thats an awful lot of money so I don't know. My boyfriend said he's going to throw in a porn movie of me to the guy in vegas so i think they worked out a deal or something. I'm pretty mad about that though. I need to think this over.

Tim: hi make a offer 10000.oo yu can have it ten thousand dollars ill take tim

Kimmy Lee wrote:
No way. Maybe some porn instead?

Tim: ok monyt first

Kimmy Lee wrote:
How much money then if I give you a porn of me?

Tim: 8000.00no porm ill give him me this is karen

Kimmy Lee wrote:
Hi karen. Okay, my boyfriend said to offer the porn. He's really good at making deals. He left for vegas today to get the other book but I kind of hate him a little so I think I won't buy your book after all. He's such a jerk.I'm going to go see the movie Atonement today. Want to go?

Tim: no tims looking for a 3 some my 2 time but its been yrs

Kimmy Lee wrote:
Really? Well I think I'm pretty cute. What do u think. Is tim? I'll send a picture. I'm asian.

Tim: tims cute too long curly hair med and me 38 c 120 pds nice butt i have too and tim got a nice cock send pictures karen

Kimmy Lee wrote:
I thought I sent it last time. I'll try again. It might be attached up at the top under the subject line. Can I see you too?

Tim: yout lovely tims says wow he says hes single iam his x wife too but we live not together tims been married 5 times too but a good man ill send a picture of him hes hot very good lover not 5 min but hrs of love making hes got a heart of love

Kimmy Lee wrote:
=) I like! He looks like a real man. Can I see Karen too? This is getting me excited!

Tim: call tim 360 464 xxxx i have no pictures he will tell you about me

Kimmy Lee wrote:

I'm pretty shy to call you. Sorry. This makes me blush! I don't have camera otherwise I'd send more pics. HOtter too. Sorry.

Tim: ok can i call you

Kimmy Lee wrote:
Call me what?

Tim: on the phone i like asia ladies ill date 1 but dont know any to date your lovely too tim

Kimmy Lee wrote:
Do you want to date me from behind? =)

Tim: i cant date you if you have a boyfriend dont want to get you in trouble either are you free to date me its tim talking to you iam single too

Kimmy Lee wrote:
yes. i dumped my boyfriend last night. I want to try anal.

Tim: do you live alone we want no trouble from your x boyfriend

Kimmy Lee wrote:
Don't worry about him. I have my own place. Anal?

Tim: karen and i would love to kiss your body all over and make you climax if not ill come and she can watch us make love your ass would be mint and pussy too

Kimmy Lee wrote:
I have never been with senior citizen before. My dad wants me to marry old man because they are stable. Are you stable with job?

Tim: iam retired with income i live in a new house 3b 2 bath new 07 dodge magumn but i want a lady to love me for me iam not poor but live ok iam not a old man either i act like a kid you seen my pictures ill send 1 to yoiu if we meet and no trouble from your x boyfriend ill meet you i dont drink or smoke call me ok 360 858 xxxx sounds like your dad is right a stable man is good but a younger man is good too if hes stable

Kimmy Lee wrote:
I have a very hairy ass.

Tim: for a lady ok

Kimmy Lee wrote:
Really? I want man who likes my ass with all the hair. Makes wiping tough though to get clean!

Tim: are you for real you wont call iam not sure now tim and karen shes here too saying tim your getting played

Kimmy Lee wrote:
Played? I told you im too shy to call. You're trying to pressure me too hard. All I wanted was to see atonement with karen and she said something about a three way out of nowhere. I was getting hot talking dirty but if you dont want to then forget it.

Tim: i like it too lol your cool but we dont get no where we can talk on the phone too i have a web cam karen left good lol i like you

Kimmy Lee wrote:
is karen ugly?

Tim: well no not in my eyes shes has tumors on her body but onlty one eye since baby hood she got a good personalitiy you will like her she likes to fuck and has a nice ass to hairy too lol but i cant get it up with her i was married to her but divorced she wants me to find a good lady and me a man for her you turn me on

Kimmy Lee wrote:
So she has hairy butt and one eye? Is her eye brown?

Tim: no blue she dresses nice too small 38c tits nice butt i lick it too sexy too blonde with strecks in her hair shes a lot of fun but my x wife ok going to bed night i want to meet you too where do you work

Kimmy Lee wrote:
I don't work. I go to high school still.

Tim: well your too young bye

Kimmy Lee wrote:
Okay fine. Forget the anal. I'll give you 14,500 for the books but I want the letter in a gold box

Tim: i want thesex too i cant put it in a gold box thats moneyyou have to tell some jewerly

Kimmy Lee wrote:
Why do you always respond like two or three times to each email? Why not just figure out what you want to say and get it all out in one? Kinda wierds me out you know? So to answer your questions, what does it matter how old I amor where I get my money? Doesn't seem very relevant. As far as the box goes, it needs to be fourteen by twelve inches long and six inches tall made of white oak and inlaid with my name in gold in old style lettering. The interior of the boxshould be rich red velvet with cutouts for the books. The letter needs to be set into the lid of the box beneath a crystal lens. This isn't too much to ask for $14,500. I need some give and take on this.

Tim: do you want to meet for coffee are you in college and do you want the book its going to end soon iam selling it to calif people then

Kimmy Lee wrote:
I'm starting to get the vibe that you are a fucking retard. I said I was in high school, so I'm probably not also in college. You ask if I want the book and in the same sentence tell me that you are selling it to someone in California. What the hell is the matter with you anyway? If you can get more money than 14,500 I already offered then fucking do it and quit emailing me. I will only buy the book if you provide the box, so if you can't handle that then good luck. No I don't want to meet you for coffee because you made fun of my hairy butthole. Kimmy

Tim: if you want it we meet at the police station here in centralia karen 14000.00 last deal

**About two weeks pass and I get around to emailing them back after I think they've started to sweat as no one is making any offers anymore.

Kimmy Lee wrote:
Anyone make any offers yet? You starting to rethink the box? Kimmy

Tim: you need to call me to talk on the offer no box you can do it your way on the box 360 858 xxxx home cell 360 464 xxxx if you wanted the item its what people do not talk on here so call me you would call

About an hour later Tim wrote again: ill sell it to what price and cash ;are you back with your boyfriend - make offer the box i have to ch on itif you got the money you got it karen says no box its yours to buy but we are not a boz ervice

Kimmy Lee wrote:
So does that mean you'll provide the box?

Tim: guess i can do it now tell me the size


MAANDj said...


Buff Tan Honky said...

What the fuck?

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caitlin said...

I loved the excuses about the dogsled accident and the phone being simply "too large" to use. Hilarious. You are like a pranking mastermind.

Zach said...

I miss timmy.

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