Samuel L. Jackson. Man... or Bison?

What're you looking at bitch?

Grover
Originally uploaded by Jorge Ragtime.

I bet you're wondering if I have a mustache. Come on, look closer. Still can't tell? Get the fuck out of my face.

Where there's a will, there's a whale tail

Ahoy!
Originally uploaded by Jorge Ragtime.

That's right fuckers, Maximillion is back and he's got whale tails on his mind. I am completely uninterested in a thong unless it's poking out for some air from the top of a woman's jeans or tracksuit. Preferably if that woman is between the ages of 34 and 37. That's when a woman REALLY blossoms.

I went to Macy's yesterday and asked the clerk if whale tails were on sale and he said that if I was looking for what I thought he was looking for he was going to call security, and anyway I was in the men's suit section and he wouldn't know.

I guess I'm just like Captain Ahab, searching for a white whale tail so I can photograph it from a distance and add it to my collection. Captain Ahab with a high-powered camera and mirror sunglasses.